The dust settles

*Hoooo!!!* That's me blowing the dust off my blog.

I haven't blogged in about a month. Feels like a year.

I'm now exactly one year one month into the job.

I had a bad day. Really bad day. That's what prompted me to blog today. Actually, the reason why I stopped blogging is because I hated the way I was blogging to get unhappy things off my chest. I mean, why should I make my friends read about my unhappiness? Like life is not unhappy enough. And I hate dwelling in self-pity, because I hate it when I sound so whiny.

I've been feeling psychologically unbalanced lately. It feels like I've sucked in my stomach for too long and it's starting to hurt. And I go from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds (I'm not referring to the Ferrari, but my anger).

I surprise myself, really. I think I have found "regions" or "levels" of unhappiness that I've never been to before. It's a little like mastering a pugilistic martial art skill. Sometimes, I get so angry, I swear I am *this close* to punching someone in the face. Luckily I have pretty good self-control or what they say 'mind over matter.' Haha, I only think about doing the violent stuff, but never actually carry them out. Remember how strong a role fantasy plays in maintaining our sanity? And remember how strong a role insanity plays in maintaining fantasy? The line between the sane and the insane is fine indeed.

On the other hand, I have also found regions or levels of patience and tolerance I never thought I was capable of. I was previously pretty intolerant of rude, nasty, stubborn, exasperating, demanding, and especially stupid or foolish people. Now, I can say that I have pretty much handled them all. I can still improve in this, but hey, I have definitely progressed. A few years back, I would probably have been fired from this job long ago.

*And the dust settles*