Adjustments

So I promised to update everyone about the changes in my life. =)

Sorry I took a while. Needed some time to take stock of my life, where I am heading, what's happening, and come to terms with everything. This process of self-reflection seems to get harder when you get older and life seemingly gets more complicated. There always seem to be one problem or the other cropping up. Perhaps this is the quarter-life crisis that people always talk about (well, quarter-life assuming you live to a hundred)?

Adjustment 1
First and foremost, I changed my job. Yes, I wasn't kidding when I made that New Year's resolution to have better worklife balance. I can't say that I'm totally enjoying the work, but yes, I'm definitely going home before the sun goes down and NOT bringing work home in the physical sense.

If anyone's wondering why I say I'm not totally enjoying the work, it's not because of the work per se. Actually, the work is pretty good and what I wanted. It's interesting, and I love the kids (yes, I'm still working with kids and youth). Except that I'm finding the learning curve quite steep... Is it me or is learning new things always a little harder when you get older? Sigh. 25 and already feeling it.

I guess it does not help that I feel unsupported and sometimes driven into a little corner. Outwit, outplay, outlast: Survivor-office politics part 1. It's hard to work when you have colleagues who seem to shove everything to you but try to look smart/good in front of others. It's disgusting, I tell you. When you try to stand up for yourself, people label you as assertive and aggressive. I guess it's a fine line between trying to draw boundaries and being pushy.

It also does not help that everyone else in the workplace thinks you're young, and probably, NOT credible. I'm guilty of making that association sometimes, so shame on myself, haha... Ok, so I'm secretly pleased that people have commented that I look young (looks like the worklife balance thingy is working after all), but hey, it becomes a problem when being young = being ignorant. Not fair lah.. You gotta get past the looks man... Sigh. I'm so going to perm my hair again....

I need a holiday. Real soon. Otherwise, I'm going to reach my breaking point and goodness knows what's going to happen then. I don't want to become a mad, crazy, raving psychologist.

Adjustment 2
In the same period that I changed my job (or rather, barely a day after I started), my paternal grandmother passed away. She's been ill for a while, so it was not unexpected in that sense. But the sense of loss always hits the living the hardest in the final moments.

The funeral wake was exhausting, not only physically but emotionally as well. It was only then that I realised how much my parents have aged. Looking at my father, I finally comprehended too how painful it must feel to lose a parent and what it does to a person. It's funny that I should say this now, since I lost my paternal grandfather a few years back and my maternal grandparents many years back. But I guess when I realised that my father is now officially the most senior member of the Singapore branch of the family (we still have relatives in China), the revelation hit home.

But enough about that... Now for happy things.

Adjustment 3
Well, the next change in my life is not much of an adjustment, but more of a natural progression really. (I don't want my husband to complain that I make it sound like such a difficult process, haha...)

Oh yes, read between the lines. I'm not saying anything else. =)

Oh yah, just to clarify, in case anyone is thinking, 'Already???', nopes it's sometime next year... For more details, please contact me directly. Heh.