Dealt a heavy hand by Fate

I remember saying months ago that 2010 would be a challenging year. And yes, it will be.

I sometimes don't understand why I've been dealt such a heavy hand by Fate. I thought I have been a relatively good person my whole life. Apparently not. It feels like we're being punished for something.

I try to be upbeat and think maybe something good will come out of this. Like my marriage will become stronger than ever; that our little one is especially talented in some way; that maybe we're just being tested, and that somehow a miracle will happen and all our problems will go away.

We've tried our best to plan for and accommodate changes. But yet, once I've settled on the plans and things seem to be going underway, we have to change tack again.

It's hard to sift through the emotions, but I think I'm getting better. I want to make things right, I want to fix things, I want to make sure our little one gets the best care she needs. I hope I am strong enough to carry through all the things we have to do for her.