The Wedding Planner

For the past few weeks, there's been so much talk about marriages and weddings flying around me that I can't help but think about marriages and weddings. Anyway, "The Wedding Planner" (the movie with J-Lo desperately trying to look sweet but failing miserably; her butt always gets more attention than her...) was on Channel 5 yesterday night. I only managed to catch the last few minutes where the wedding couple decided not to go through with the wedding, blah blah.

I have actually watched the movie twice before yesterday night. I kind of liked the movie the first two times I watched it; you know, it was romantic, sweet, the stuff that every girl's dreams are made of, blah... But it just felt different yesterday. For one, if my husband-to-be decides on our wedding day that he has fallen in love with the wedding planner, and pulls the "oh-maybe-we-should-think-about-whether-we-want-this" line on me, I would so totally FREAK OUT. I mean, by the time you decide that you want to get married, I would think that you would have thought about whether you really wanted it, right? People don't get married just because, HELLOOOOO????

Don't get me wrong; I'm not against people wanting to go their separate ways just before marriage when they find out that they're really not meant to be together. Better late than never, I always say. But if one pays attention to the relationship, and puts in effort for it, it probably wouldn't take a failed wedding to find out that you're just not right for each other. The alarm bells should be going off way before that; it's the same thing with divorce.

Then again, marriage is a tricky thing. In a way, it's a serious thing, cos it is a lifetime commitment, it's a sanctity, etc. Yet, in other ways, marriage is also an over-rated institution, an added formality. After all, you don't need a certificate to prove your love for each other, and you can still get divorced after marriage; it's not a guarantee.

Whatever it is, I guess my eldest sister was right in saying that one can put marriage on the cards, but focus on building up the relationship first. I thought this was the wisest piece of advice anyone can give, and the best 'solution' to the tricky business of marriage. Once you have a strong relationship built on mutual love, trust, respect and commitment, I guess you can overcome anything, from big time quarrels to pre-wedding jitters, parenting responsibilities and strains in the marriage.

And of course, don't get married just because of the HDB flat. ;)