Finally succumbed to the fatigue that has been gnawing me out bit by bit. Finally allowed myself to give in and stop the fight with my body to keep pressing on despite knowing that I really need to rest and see the doctor.
Am aching all over now and feeling hot and cold. Yeps, just woke up from a much-needed long slumber. Been feeling terrible the entire week: dizzy spells, body aches, sudden sneezing fits, loss of voice at the end of the day... Sigh.
I have never stopped wondering whether the money at the end of the day is worth all the sacrifices in physical and emotional health. People always find it easy to say "Don't let your work get to you" but it is always something that is so hard to do. In reality, my type of job requires you to put yourself out there and always give a little more than what is expected, whether it is time or effort.
I've been totally and thoroughly unhappy with many things over the past few weeks; sometimes, it's just tough to keep my chin up. When it starts to show and become obvious to more than a few colleagues, the defences are obviously breaking down. Now the only solace might lie in releasing and letting go: not caring how things go and not giving a hoot about whether a job is well done. So unlike the Type A personality which is me.
How to fight on? How? I'm so tired.
1 comment:
hmm... the choice is yours, but i believe you know what's best for you, even if at times you might face uncertainty. if you ever need someone to talk to, just gimme a ring! *hugs*
Post a Comment